


I Hate Fighting But I Love You

by EvieWhite



Category: American Horror Story, raulson
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 12:39:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1428892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvieWhite/pseuds/EvieWhite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The real reason why Lily missed Paleyfest... Lily isn't ready to go public with her relationship with Sarah and is very nervous about being asked any raulson questions at Paleyfest, so she decides to skip it. She and Sarah got into a big fight over it, but end up making up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate Fighting But I Love You

“Damnit Sarah, I already told you I’m not going! My mind’s made up so you’ll just have to get over it!” Lily crosses her arms and paces around their shared apartment, stomping her feet with every step. 

“Everyone knows you’re not really filming! What’s the big fucking deal? I don’t get it!” Sarah sits on the edge of the bed rubbing her temple. It’s only a half hour before they need to leave for makeup and now Lily is refusing to go. She has no idea why her girlfriend had such a sudden change of heart; just this morning she was going on and on about how excited she was.

“I just can’t go, okay?! I’m not going!” They’d been arguing like this for the past twenty minutes, screaming in circles.

“But why? You were looking forward to meeting the fans and talking about Misty. Paley fest won’t be the same without you there.” Sarah says in a slightly softer tone. Her head hurts from all the yelling and she’s upset that her girlfriend isn’t explaining.

Lily sighs heavily and sits next to Sarah, fiddling anxiously with her silver bracelet, the one Sarah gave her for their one year anniversary. “I’m just not ready for the questions…”

“Questions about what sweetheart?” Sarah laces her fingers through Lily’s to try and calm the clearly distressed girl. 

With her eyes cast down at the floor, Lily says in no more than a whisper, “Us.”

Hurt and fear cloud Sarah’s mind. ~Is Lily ashamed to be my girlfriend? Does she not want to be with me anymore?~ Since the beginning of their relationship Sarah has been afraid of something like this, Lily not being able to handle the pressures of being openly gay. The couple had decided to keep their relationship away from the public and only tell their close friends and family. After almost two years of dating in secret, Sarah is ready to go public but Lily clearly is not. “What do you mean?”  
Sarah drops her girlfriend’s hand abruptly. Hurt is evident in her dark brown eyes. “Are you embarrassed to be with me?” Lily doesn’t say anything. “Fine, I get it, whatever. Have fun here by yourself than.”

The older woman stands and quickly gathers her purse. “Sarah it’s not like that!” Lily jumps up and grabs her lover’s arm. “I’m not ashamed or embarrassed of you! I love you!”

Sarah’s eyes brim with tears. “Do you? Cause you don’t always act like it! I want to hold your hand. I want to take you out on nice dates and be able to kiss you. I want to get mad at the men who flirt with you and tell them that you’re mine. This is hard on me too Lily, but you’re just a coward!” The tears break free and stream down Sarah’s cheeks as she wretches her arm away from Lily. Slamming the door behind her, Sarah storms away seeming furious but actually more hurt than anything.

Lily stares at the closed door, stunned and heartbroken. How had things gotten so out of hand? Collapsing back on the bed, Lily buries her face in the pillow and cries.  
She does love Sarah, more than anything in the world. She loves her with her whole heart, and wants to be with Sarah forever. She’s just ready to come out. She’s proud to be with Sarah, she wants to tell the world, but Lily doesn’t want to be bombarded with questions prying into their private life.

Sighing again, Lily rubs her eyes and stares up at the ceiling, trying to think of a way to make things right.

xxxxxxx

Sarah enjoyed Paleyfest. She loved interacting with the fans and getting to spend time with her friends, but it wasn’t the same without Lily beside her. The whole night Sarah kept thinking about her girlfriend and the fight they had. After having some time to think it over, the actress feels horrible about how she reacted. She should have been more understanding. Everyone should be able to come out at their own pace; she shouldn’t have kept pushing Lily.

Holding a bouquet of white roses, Lily’s favorite, Sarah unlocks the apartment door and heads inside. “Lily?” she calls out for her girlfriend nut there’s no reply. Dropping her keys on the table and kicking off her heels, Sarah goes to the bedroom. “Are you up Lily?”

Lily’s a night owl but it’s already way past midnight so maybe she’s asleep. Sure enough, Lily’s soft snores echo through the room from under the blankets. Smiling, Sarah puts the roses down on the night stand and sits beside her lover, just taking a second to admire how beautiful Lily is. The younger woman twitches slightly at the shift of weight on the bed and slowly blinks her eyes open. “Hey.” Says Sarah sweetly. She gently rubs Lily’s back and smiles. 

“Hey.” Responds Lily groogily, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “How was your night?” her voice is soft and cautious, clearly not wanting to get in another fight. 

“Pretty good. Everyone asked about you though.” Sarah bites the corner of her lip and holds out the roses. “Lily I’m so sorry about how I acted before. I was wrong and it was really awful of me. I should have been more understanding and not jumped to any conclusions.” 

A smile covers Lily’s face as she takes the flowers and holds them to her nose, breathing in deeply. “Thank you so much baby. I’m sorry too. Everything came out wrong and I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you more than anything and there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you. I just don’t want people prying into our lives.”

“It’s okay baby, I get it.” Sarah puts her hand on Lily’s knee, so glad to have cleared the air. She hates fighting with Lily, it makes her feel sick. 

Lily smiles back and cups her girlfriend’s cheek. She leans in and kisses Sarah softly, their lips melding together in a way that makes them go dizzy and butterflies flutter in their stomachs. “I love you Sarah. I might not be ready to tell the world, but I promise to tell you every single day for the rest of my life.”


End file.
